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Facebook Knew I Was Gay Before My Family Did

When Matt last name withheld for privacy logged onto Facebook earlier this week, he was startled by the placement of a seemingly impossible ad on his News Feed: Matt who lives on the East Coast did need help coming out. But as far as he knew, there was only one other person in the world who knew that but him.

As many LGBT individuals know, for a time, the most closely held secret we have is our sexuality. Several nights ago, I texted a close and dear friend for advice on revealing such sensitive personal information. The next morning, I woke up to a "sponsored story" on my Facebook page that asked "Coming Out?

'Gaydar:' Does Facebook Know if You're Gay?

Need help? He had texted a close friend the night before, asking him for advice about how to come out as gay to his parents.

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The next day he saw the ad and, because he didn't remember volunteering any information about his sexual orientation to Facebook, he wondered if his iPhone's Facebook app were somehow tracking his text messages. It wouldn't be the first time Facebook users have expressed expressed concern that their texts were being read by Facebook, though Facebook has consistently maintained they do not and would not do so.

A Facebook spokesperson who got in touch with BuzzFeed FWD for this story also denied that Facebook is accessing users' texts, saying that to do so would be an invasion of privacy. Indeed, from a technological standpoint, it seems unlikely the Facebook app for iPhone would work in that capacity. And yet, to Matt, it seemed like there was no other way they could know. Matt didn't like any pages associated with LGBTQ issues — just a Republican politician and a local bar, he says — and definitely wasn't talking about his sexual orientation either in plain view his wall or others or in semi-privacy personal messages or chat.


So he took a look back through his activity log in search of "clues" — anything that might've let Facebook know this ad was personally relevant.